When you’re frustrated with someone, what do you think? Do you blame yourself or someone else? Do you judge your actions positively or negatively? You’re not alone; inner speech such as this is actually quite common.
Russell T Hurlburt PhD and his partner Chris Heavey, devised a study that examined different elements of pristine inner experience which is defined as “an experience of a. . .thought that does not include the experiences of words, images or any other symbols.” In other words, thoughts that don’t illicit mental pictures, like remembering your last vacation or imagining the future. It is simply interior dialogue, sounds, feelings etc. that are disconnected from all visual imagery.
The researchers found that subjects experienced inner dialogue in 26% of the samples. That may seem like a small number, but remember that is only the result of subjects that reported inner dialogue. Some subjects may not have even noticed their interior dialogue while others subjects said they never experienced it or were unaware of its presence. Awareness is a key factor when it comes to our inner dialogue; if you don’t know it’s there, you don’t realize how damaging it can be.
Then again, some people are just more conscious of what they’re saying to themselves than others. The study also revealed that some subjects experienced inner dialogue in up to 75% of the samples. Whether they realize it or not, these people have an advantage over those that aren’t aware of inner dialogue. Their awareness can help them correct their thinking for powerful, productive thoughts. So how can you be one of them?
Below are 4 ways you can learn to become attuned to your inner dialogue. . .and change it to a reflect more positive thinking.
1. Identify thoughts
Identifying negative inner speech is often the hardest part of changing our thoughts. Once you’re aware you’re experiencing them, ask yourself, “What is my inner dialogue telling me?” You may think you know, but you’re probably only aware of the surface-level characteristics. Dig deeper into your thoughts. Maybe they’re saying you didn’t do a great job at work today, but what constitutes a “great day” for you? And in turn, why did not achieving this “great day” sour your mood? Is it because you don’t think you’re good enough at your job? Maybe you feel you’re not good enough period. Then that is what you need to identify first so that you change your inner dialogue to bolster your own self image.
2. Analyze emotions
After understanding what your thoughts are saying, learn how they’re affecting you. How does thinking these thoughts make you feel? If you said bad, unhappy, or just plain gloomy, then you need to change them. By not assessing our own emotions, we neglect to realize how hurtful our inner dialogue is. That is why we shrug if off, thinking it doesn’t matter. It does matter. Your inner dialogue shouldn’t make you feel worse about yourself. Become aware of what you’re feeling so that your inner dialogue can make you feel as great as you are.
3. Cultivate positivity
The way to create a positive mindset is cultivating one. One of the definitions of cultivate courtesy of Dictionary.com is “to develop or improve by education or training.” A positive mental attitude is acquired through this training, which, when done consistently, can become a handy tool in your toolbox. This is accomplished through establishing a malleable mental attitude. In other words, create a mindset that is open to change and constant restructuring. For instance, if you’re blaming someone that you believe wronged you, think of the positives that person’s brought to your life. Is it worth it getting upset with them? Or say you feel defeated because you didn’t accomplish what you’d hoped. Be content with what you did complete and move forward. It takes work to rewire the brain, but this new connection makes us work better than ever.
4. Repeat affirmations
Finally, remember repetition. Using positivity in an isolated incident isn’t going to help you in the long run. Think positive in every instance. Any time you can’t yourself doubting your abilities, change the inner dialogue to say “I can do this.” Repeat it over and over to yourself. You’ll convince yourself that you can. That inner dialogue will no longer be a barrier blocking you from self-actualization. Continue to ride the wave of positive thoughts and you’ll reach the shore eventually.
Understanding and identifying your inner dialogue will help you understand how to change your thinking for the better. Listen to what you have to say; you’ll learn a lot about yourself.