Searching to find our purpose in life is a lifelong journey. Purpose goes deeper than just what we do for a living; it’s what we want to do with our time, what makes us happy, and what fills us with a sense of accomplishment. Your purpose could be volunteering, writing, singing, acting, cooking, being a mother or father, being a loving spouse and the list goes on and on. When we find the thing we want to do the most, therein lies our purpose.
Rather than take years and years discovering the answers through trial and error, we can find what fills us with meaning by asking ourselves a few simple questions. These questions serve as the foundation for a greater understanding of ourselves as well as a springboard to our best life. By spending time to answer these five questions, you’re taking steps towards making your desires actualized.
1. How would you spend a day without limitations or restrictions?
Posed by Psychology Today as a “bonus day” unencumbered by necessary chores and tasks, this question is one of the most telling. It gets right down to the root of our individual soul, asking what lies there and what it requires to feel nourished.
The website recommends not focusing on leisurely activities to answer this question, but rather the things you would do if you were fully energized. What would you shift your focus towards on a day of endless possibilities? Hiking? Reading? Designing? Finding your purpose is finding your passion, so think about that perfect day and use your answer as your fuel to make it happen.
2. What do you want to be remembered for?
From the personal to the public, this question is geared towards the lasting impression you want to make on the world. You may want to do something for yourself at this moment, but how do you want people to feel inspired and enlightened by what you’ve done after you’re gone?
Success.com recommends writing an obituary for yourself (called an “autobituary”.) This allows you to take the perspective of someone close to you and describe in “their” words what you mean to them. Examples could be, “She was a wonderful wife and mother” or “He lived for his community.” Think about the role that most makes your heart swell with pride; that’s what you really want to be remembered for.
3. What values have shaped you over the years?
Oftentimes, we need to look to what we already know about ourselves to figure out what we don’t. Our values are the innate beliefs we hold dear to us that give us a firm grip on our reality. Without them, we’d be lost as to what makes us human. You may value trust and honesty, humor, creativity, openness, confidence, or compassion. There are many things which we consider to be at the core of what we want to see in ourselves and others. Look to your values to determine your purpose in life. If humor, maybe you want to start taking improv classes. If compassion, maybe you want to help an animal rescue. It all lies in what values you cherish most, so identify them and act on them.
4. What gets you in the flow zone?
Psychology Today defines flow as “being consciously in inner harmony with whatever you’re doing.” On their list of purpose-finding questions, they see it as an activity you do that makes you lose track of time. You’re not focused on anything around you; simply what you’re doing. It’s almost like the world doesn’t exist except to allow you to perform this task and enjoy it to the fullest. What grabs your attention so entirely that nothing else seems to matter? Is it swimming? Gardening? Photography? Find the thing that absorbs you for hours on end because that’s the thing you’ll want to stay absorbed in for hours more
5. What brought me joy as a kid?
It may be hard to know what we really want to do now, but what about then? Lifehack.org mentions that as we age, “we often stop doing the things we were passionate about as a child.” Do you still play with dolls or Legos? Do you still race cars or play dress up? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a way to “adult” those childish games. In other words, you can unlock the excitement of your childhood days by transferring the spirit of play into a mature form.
Dressing up in costume is a love of many cosplayers, so why not turn into your favorite superhero or princess? Building Lego structures as a kid could be turned into a love of architecture or building houses for the homeless. Come up with your own clever ideas using what all children possess in abundance — your imagination. Your purpose may have been right in front of your nose all this time.
These questions, and others, will help you find the purpose you’ve been seeking in your life. Your true purpose is a gut reaction so listen to your gut. It has a lot to say!