Category: Wellness

Searching to find our purpose in life is a lifelong journey. Purpose goes deeper than just what we do for a living; it’s what we want to do with our time, what makes us happy, and what fills us with a sense of accomplishment. Your purpose could be volunteering, writing, singing, acting, cooking, being a mother or father, being a loving spouse and the list goes on and on. When we find the thing we want to do the most, therein lies our purpose.

Rather than take years and years discovering the answers through trial and error, we can find what fills us with meaning by asking ourselves a few simple questions. These questions serve as the foundation for a greater understanding of ourselves as well as a springboard to our best life. By spending time to answer these five questions, you’re taking steps towards making your desires actualized.

1. How would you spend a day without limitations or restrictions?

Posed by Psychology Today as a “bonus day” unencumbered by necessary chores and tasks, this question is one of the most telling. It gets right down to the root of our individual soul, asking what lies there and what it requires to feel nourished.

The website recommends not focusing on leisurely activities to answer this question, but rather the things you would do if you were fully energized. What would you shift your focus towards on a day of endless possibilities? Hiking? Reading? Designing? Finding your purpose is finding your passion, so think about that perfect day and use your answer as your fuel to make it happen.

2. What do you want to be remembered for?

From the personal to the public, this question is geared towards the lasting impression you want to make on the world. You may want to do something for yourself at this moment, but how do you want people to feel inspired and enlightened by what you’ve done after you’re gone?

Success.com recommends writing an obituary for yourself (called an “autobituary”.) This allows you to take the perspective of someone close to you and describe in “their” words what you mean to them. Examples could be, “She was a wonderful wife and mother” or “He lived for his community.” Think about the role that most makes your heart swell with pride; that’s what you really want to be remembered for.

3. What values have shaped you over the years?

Oftentimes, we need to look to what we already know about ourselves to figure out what we don’t. Our values are the innate beliefs we hold dear to us that give us a firm grip on our reality. Without them, we’d be lost as to what makes us human. You may value trust and honesty, humor, creativity, openness, confidence, or compassion. There are many things which we consider to be at the core of what we want to see in ourselves and others. Look to your values to determine your purpose in life. If humor, maybe you want to start taking improv classes. If compassion, maybe you want to help an animal rescue. It all lies in what values you cherish most, so identify them and act on them.

4. What gets you in the flow zone?

Psychology Today defines flow as “being consciously in inner harmony with whatever you’re doing.” On their list of purpose-finding questions, they see it as an activity you do that makes you lose track of time. You’re not focused on anything around you; simply what you’re doing. It’s almost like the world doesn’t exist except to allow you to perform this task and enjoy it to the fullest. What grabs your attention so entirely that nothing else seems to matter? Is it swimming? Gardening? Photography? Find the thing that absorbs you for hours on end because that’s the thing you’ll want to stay absorbed in for hours more

5. What brought me joy as a kid?

It may be hard to know what we really want to do now, but what about then? Lifehack.org mentions that as we age, “we often stop doing the things we were passionate about as a child.” Do you still play with dolls or Legos? Do you still race cars or play dress up? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a way to “adult” those childish games. In other words, you can unlock the excitement of your childhood days by transferring the spirit of play into a mature form.

Dressing up in costume is a love of many cosplayers, so why not turn into your favorite superhero or princess? Building Lego structures as a kid could be turned into a love of architecture or building houses for the homeless. Come up with your own clever ideas using what all children possess in abundance — your imagination. Your purpose may have been right in front of your nose all this time.

These questions, and others, will help you find the purpose you’ve been seeking in your life. Your true purpose is a gut reaction so listen to your gut. It has a lot to say!

There is nothing better for your self-esteem than setting and achieving your goals, it is also a fantastic confidence booster. Think about what made you happy and proud as a child, for many people the list includes: earning good grades in school, learning and mastering a sport, achieving an award, and doing the things you set out to do. All of these things include setting some kind of goal and achieving it. According to self-esteem-experts.com,

“Setting and achieving goals builds positive self-esteem. You send a clear message to your brain that says I am a person who is successful. The interesting thing is the message that the brain gets is the same whether the goal is large or small. When you achieve a goal you are building the neuro-pathway that says to the brain I AM A SUCCESS and the more you tell your brain this, the more you build feelings of confidence and positive self-esteem.”

The message of success and the feeling of self-esteem that is sent to your brain is the same whether you complete a very large goal, or even a very small one. You can give yourself doses of self-esteem whenever you need it by setting and accomplishing even small tasks. According to selfgrowthhacker.com, “By first accomplishing small wins, you’ll start building self-confidence in your ability to finish goals. This will build up your momentum which will allow you to take on larger goals.”

So how do you go about setting and accomplishing your goals? Here are some tips to complete your goals whether they are big or small:

Write Them Down

Emmitt Smith said, “It’s only a dream until you write it down, and then it becomes a goal.” Write down your thoughts, your ideas, your dreams, your goals, your inspirations. Writing them down helps you focus and it gives concrete evidence and support to your goals – it makes them more real and tangible because they are not just thoughts in your head. According to positivityblog.com, “A written goal brings clarity and focus. It gives you direction.”

Be Specific

A goal to do something big like graduate college, write a book, or learn a new language is a fine and admirable thing – but it likely won’t happen if you do not establish specific smaller goals that lead to that big accomplishment. Be specific and create a plan of action for your goals.

Be Realistic

If you have never been running a day in your life and you set a goal to run a five-minute mile in two days – you will probably be disappointed and fail to reach your goal. You must set goals that are realistic and attainable – setting hard goals is fine, but make sure you give yourself the time to work on it in order to achieve them.

Tell Others

According to Forbes.com, “Making yourself accountable to your friends and family is one of the best ways to reach your goals… When you tell people your goals, they will jump in the boat with you and help you get there. You will be shocked by the support you’ll get from your network.” Tell your friends, family, and co-workers of your goals and your plans – some may join you, and others will help be your cheerleaders in achieving your goals.

If you do not achieve some of your goals try to remember what psychologytoday.com says, “You can gain confidence simply by taking action towards your goal even if you don’t get the result you were looking for. Keep in mind that success is in the doing and not necessarily the result.” You will gain self-esteem and confidence in the setting, trying, and achieving your goals – all you have to do is get started.